One unsolved puzzle chapter 6

"Near!" Mello yelled after me. I only shuffled faster, internally damning my casts. I heard another swear behind me, then more footsteps, these coordinated and sure - and determined, and - damn!- fast.
Why was he following me??

"Near!!" Mello shouted, frustrated.

I blocked out his voice in terror, forcing my mind into my protective, logical shell.

There were so many branches and roots in my path- I'd run off randomly, I had no idea where the actual path was and no clue as to where I was or where I was going, all I knew was I had to move forward, eventually I'd run into the right path again, I was certain.

"Dammit Near would you stop?!"

No good, I couldn't recognize anything here. These types of trees weren't even growing along the path I'd followed. Where on earth was I?

"Near, listen to me!"

I jumped at it this time - his voice was so much louder than before and as I glanced over my shoulder I realized it was because he was /so close/.

I have to go faster! I thought, but my cast caught on a root and I toppled forward, my leg curling awkwardly under me.

I landed face-first in the dirt, my arms scraped from my trying to catch myself.

I spit out some dirt, pulling myself to my feet, when I see him less than a yard away. I immediately try to run again, but he simply grabs my good wrist, his grip like a vise.

"let go Mello," I say in a pathetic excuse for a dignified tone. My voice trebled as bad as I did.

Mello's hair was tussled from running and he'd left his shirt behind. He stared at me as if was inconceivably angry, only his eyes made me unsure who the anger was directed towards.

I couldn't meet hid gaze for long, after a second I turned mine to the ground, away from him entirely. I tried I vain to ignore the burning of my wrist. Silence passes between us as he waited for me to meet his eyes. After a moment he seemed to realize that I had no intention of doing so.

A muttered "so that's how it is" is all the warning I got before I was suddenly being dragged roughly after Mello.

I stumbled after him ad fast as I was able, still trying to get my wrist free with no luck.

I have no idea how, but after a minute Mello had us back on the real path, yanking me back towards the orphanage.

The boys who'd been playing soccer were gone now, no-one there to watch Mello drag me into the building.

"what are you doing?" I finally asked, my bewilderment and a bit of my terror completely obvious.

"You don't need to be outside anyway. You're injured, dumbass." he said not meeting my eyes.

He threw the door open and ushered me inside.

"you didn't answer my question," I muttered, and Mello's head snapped around, his eyes deadly.

Without any warning, he suddenly used his grip on my wrist to yank me into him and heft me into his arms, my heavily casted legs dangled over his arms, but he didn't even seem to notice the weight. My head rested against his chest, my arm clutched at his shoulder for fear of being dropped - nearly all of me was touching him. And it burned.

"Let , me go, Mello!" I said loudly, kicking my legs in protest and trying to push myself away from him. My attempts were about as successful as the titanic.

Ignoring my protests and kicking, Mello darted up the stairs, making long strides, his  angry and determined eyes never meeting mine.

So quick that I missed it, he was at my room, roughly throwing my door open  - I don't know how he managed that while carrying me but he managed nonetheless - and walking inside to slam it behind him, locking the door.

Before I could think to be afraid Mello threw me down on my bed, and climbed on top of me, moving to straddle my waist.

My eyes widened and I pushed at his chest, trying to force him off me, but he grabbed both my wrists and pinned them above my head. He hovered over me, radiating rage, his face in the shadow of his hair, and less than a foot from mine.

I squirmed under him, still demanding to be let go, but he made a sound deep in his throat, like a growl that froze me in place.

"Mello?" I whispered, my voice shaking.

"I didn't answer your question," Mello muttered, his voice low and filled with anger. He suddenly lifted his head, allowing me to see the lividity of his expression. His blue hot eyes seemed to be aflame as he glared down at me, filled with so many emotions I couldn't discribe at once. He snarled at me suddenly, pushing his face closer to mine. "Maybe you should answer mine first," he hissed.

"What do you mean Mello?" I whispered; trrembling under the heat of his gaze, my eyes wide with fear. "You're... your not making sense?"

The flames in Mello's eyes flared. He squeased them shut, his hands around mine tightening a bit until they hurt.

"Not maing sense... For God's sake Near..." He whispered, almost to himself.  "What did you not understand!" He abruptly yelled into my face.  His eyes flew open, a look of pained confusion in them that completely paralyzed me. "What doesn't make sense??"

From the look on his face I could tell he wanted an actual answer, but my mouth was dry, and there seemed to be no air in my lungs. Mello's eyes darted over my face, examining me, and he scowled again as he realized he wasn't getting an answer. He suddenly sneered, pushing his face yet closer to mine.

"Was it this?" He asked, locking his eyes with mine before leaning forward all the way to lock our lips together.

Just like before, the touch sent waves of heat all through me, I was rendered completely powerless, frozen, vunerable. The differnce was, this time, his lips weren't gentle as they'd been before, when the kiss was a mere brushing of our lips. This time he pressed them hard agianst mine, leaving me no air to breath, a fierce agression in the way they moved. Nor were his hands soft,, the hands that last time had cuped my face like I was a porcelin doll. Now they were vices holding my wirts in a death grip to prevent me from escaping him. And the pleasent heat from before had turned into fire that burned me at his every touch, made me want to escape all the more.

Mello continued to kiss me, leaning in to press against me more. His bare chest pressed against me, so close that I could feel his heartbeat, not even a hair's width between us. I squeased my eyes shut, feeling tears spring up in my eyes, and whimpered around Mello's mouth - the fire - it was everywhere, and it hurt so much. Why couldn't he just let me go??

Nothing he did made sense! The hell with it! I was sick and tired of trying to figure him out! he could be the one puzzle I would leave half finisehed. I just couldn't deal with him!

Suddenly I felt Mello pull back, breaking the kiss. I was too frightened to open my eyes and see why - so I just remained, eyes closed, whimpering and trembling.

There was a moment of silence, then Mello snorted, sounding annoyed.

"I don't see what's so confusing about that." He said snidely.

That was it.

My eyes snapped open and I glared at him through my tears.

"How could I not be confused?" I snapped."Wouldn't you be if someone who always said they hated you suddenly kissed you? Would you be able to comprehend a complete 180 like that?" The tears had dried now, and I was mad. "After years and years of him harassing you, bullying you, doing anything he can to get ahead of you, dealing with that, becoming accustomed to it, would you be rational if he suddenly does things that go against what  he'd always said??"  I was gasping for breath now, but I had no intention of stopping. "Would you instantly believe that, or would you be skeptical? And even if you wanted to belive it, would you be able to handle the evidence that states that said 180 was just another way for him to hate you?? To mess with you?? To manipulate you??"

"Near, " Mello whispered, almost all the former rage dissolved off his face. I barely heard him.

"How would - how would you deal with it?" I demanded, then broke off sobbing. This was so huminlaitng. If there was any doubt of the influence he'd had over me before, it was all gone now. Now he knew just how much power he held over me. I was so pathetic. I squerased my eyes shut again, willing myself to be anywhere but here.

I heard Mello sigh, and he suddenly released my wrists, leaning off me, though he stayed straddling me.  I felt a soft hand touch my cheek, wiping away the tears.

"Near. Look at me."

I shook my head hard.

He sighed again.

"Please." His voice was near a plead now. It bewhildered me. I tentitively opened my eyes a spilter, and saw the apologetic expression on his face. It made my heart skip a beat, which I despised it for.

I looked down. "Please get off me." I said quietly. Surprisingly, he did as I asked.

I quickly pulled myself upright, sitting as far away from him as possible. Mello didn't move, and he continued to watch me.

I refused to even look at him, I simply sat there, wiping my eyes and lips of the residue of the fire.

There was an unbearable silence that must have lasted ages.

"...It really upset you, didn't it?" Mello said after an eternity.

I knew it, I thought, pointedly looking at the floor.

I heard him exhale heavily. "Jeez. Here I thought you were so much smarter than me."

At that I glared at him. He met my eyes, gazing into them, holding them.

"Alright then... what are kisses used to express Near?" He asked.

When again I didn't respond, he continued, assuming I knew.

"So the fact that... I did, would mean..."

"It could mean any number of things, with you," I said before I could stop myself.

"Why the hell would I do something if I didn't mean it?" He asked, his tone deadly serious.

"Like I said, to maniulate me," I said back, although every fiber of me wanted to belive him.

Mello looked taken aback and baffled at the same time. "What the hell, Near?" His eyes narrowed. "You're not thinking rationally at all. This is unlike you." He moved closer to me. "Think, Near. Think about it."

I wanted to tell him that that's what got me so confused in the first place, but I realized he was right. He was right, and I hated that. I looked back over my reactions, and to my utter humiliation, I responded like an infatiated little girl.

If I'd been thinking rationally, I would've noticed the sincerity on Mello's face when he was helping me. The geniune concern when I was hurt. The protectivness when he attacked the red- head.

...the hurt on his face when I essentially rejected him.



I should have realized that he was no good at masking emotions, like I was. Wasn't I always saying how he couldn't control his emotions?

Dear God.

He was... serious.

It took me a few moments for me to really realize this - the moment the brain cells finally connected, I turned bright red. I'm not sure why.

"...Mello." I said blankly. I couldn't think of one thing to say.

He looked me over, miffed by my reaction.

"If you're really that baffled, do you want me to explain it?"

His choice of words distracted and infuriated me, but I didn't respond.

"...Fine. I'll talk. You just listen. When I'm done you can decide what you think."

I tentitively raised a hand, as if I was asking a question in class.

"If you could... explain from the beginning.. from the time you were in my room, I mean? I'm having troubles... grasping emotional thoughts at the moment."

With a small smile, he nodded."Okay. The room thing. Um. Well. That is..." He hesitated and took a deep breath. "I was, that was because..." He seemed to be struggling for words. This peaked my interest; I glanced over from the corner of my eye to see that he was turning a bit red, and now it was he who wouldn't meet my eyes.

Another deep breath. He seemed to be trying to prepare himself or maybe put aisde his pride.

His eyes darted over and caught mine. "...For the room, I've... I've actually been doing that for a little while. You never noticed till now." He seemed to sweat. "Were you awake, um, that time?"

I nodded slowly, my eyes trained on him. He mouthed 'aw shit." and looked away.

"How long?" I asked, amazed by his reaction. I analyzed the red of his cheeks, fasinated.

Still no eye contact. "...Maybe seven months..."

I blinked. How could I not have noticed that??

"You sleep pretty soundly, most of the time," Mello muttered, answering my unasked question.

"Why... what pprovoked you to do that?" I asked quietly. Mello glared at me, so I hurriedly elaborated "No, I mean... explain your thought process. What happened when. I still can't grasp the switch from hatred to-"

"I get it," Mello interupted. He pulled a chocolate bar from his pocket. I didn't even realize his sweats had pockets. Snapping off a peice, he gazed at the floor.

"Remember the placement tests at the beginning of the year?" He suddenly asked.

I nodded. The semi-annual tests we took in place of midterms or finals, to see if any rankings should be altered. Mello came incredibly close to topping me that time -  two points away from my perfect score.

"Well I was prett pissed about the results. As usual. I was feeling pretty stupid too. I figured I'd do something to your room. Maybe sabatoge your shower or something. Glue your toys to the floor. I don't even know." He laughed. "Like I said, I was feeling pretty stupid. So I convince Matt to come with me to help mess up your room. We sneak across the hallway at 1-something at night, but only I made it across - Roger caught Matt in the hallways and sent back to the room. So I'm alone in your room, with a bottle of red spray paint and a bottle of super glue - don't ask. I was about to do something to your room, but I stopped by your bed. I was going to spit on you or something... but you were so peaceful... I don't know why, but there was something about seeing you so... differant than usual. You show more emotion in your sleep Than I'd ever seen on your face during the day. You were... weak. Vunerable. I liked that.. so I came back the next night to see it again. And again. I'd usually come maybe twice a week. I loved seeing you finally look like a kid, someone youn ger than me, someone I had some hope of beating." He looked at me, and I was unable to look away from his penetracting gaze. "After a while, though... I began to think. About how you act. All high and mighty, maybe... but maybe you acted that way, so that no one could see what's underneath all your facades. I was sure you wouldn't let anyone see it. Except maybe one person... Then I thought... That I wanted to be the person for you to show your other side."

I'd never heard Mello speak this way before. I couldn't find anything to say - and I think my mouth was hanging open. I wasn't sure. I was feeling melty again.

Mello snorted in amuzemtn. "I know I messed it up though. I'd get mad whenever I saw your fecade. I wanted you to just drop it... and I'd loose my temper. I thought maybe it'd be enough for me to just see that face when you were asleep... but when you found out... I thought it was the perfect opritunity." He lowered his eyes, then hestantly scooted a bit closer to me. I froze, but stayed where I was. "Sorry I confused you." he said, his tone husky.

I was trembling again, but this time it wasn't bad.

Mello slowly took my chin, making me look him dead in the eye. Our faces were inches appart.

"You said before... No matter how much you wanted my words to be true..." He whispered. His breath was soft on my lips. His blue-hots seared into me. "...did you... want it to be true?"

I couldn't help it anymore. I closed my eyes and crossed the small distance between us, pressing my lips tentitively against his.

I hoped that worked as an answer.